“You have to come back as soon as your work is over”, ordered Beck to her only son Jim.
“But mum, I have a dinner date today with Lucy. It is pre-fixed and I cannot come early. Sorry.” Jim was looking vaguely at his computer. He knew that mum will be upset if she doesn’t see him on time after work. But yeah, it is high time she realized that he also has a life.
Putting up with Beck’s anxiety was never an easy task for Jim. For she was there, always worrying and having panic attacks whenever he reached home late.
It was never easy since the very first day she had her panic attack. She used to accompany him wherever he went and his friends used to mock him.
“Look, who has come after you? Is she your mum or girlfriend?” They were laughing aloud totally disregarding his feelings. He cannot deny that he felt bad. But, what to do?
Mum loves him so much that she is scared that she might lose him if he was not close to her.
“Are her fears rational or just racing thoughts?”, he shuddered.
He knew that all of her friends saw her as some kind of freak. But, was she? One thing is for sure, she is awkward.
She kept on chanting “praise the lord” whenever he went out. At times, she can’t be at peace until she calls him on phone.
The worst thing was one day she lied to him that she saw a snake in the bathroom to make him come immediately. When he came to know the truth he wasn’t least surprised though.
“Mum you are so annoying. For Christ’s sake, leave me alone.” He yelled aloud, breaking a ceramic.
“Jim, I know I am annoying. But, but, my son……. I can’t help it”, her voice cracked.
“When you are not with me, I see Satan coming after you with unnecessary temptations. I can’t allow Satan to win and take my precious son away from me. You are my only hope to live. Ever since your dad left us, I am all alone. I have none but you. Please try to understand.” Beck shuddered.
“But mum why don’t you go out and be friends with neighbors or people of your age? I am more than sure, once you start socializing, your unnecessary worries will be fading away. “Jim stroke her head gently.
“They don’t understand me, my son. Only you can understand. They see me as a freak who is abandoned by her husband. “Tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Mum don’t worry. You have my back always.” He hugged her tight and calmed the situation for some days.
But for how long? He also has a life. Two of his girlfriends broke up with him because of his sticky mum. Still, he cannot deny that his mother is so precious to him. He will not abandon her. He will help her deal with her illness by spending more time with her.
Today he has to take her to a psychologist. Hopefully, she finds it better and moves on with her life. He wants that so bad. To see his mum normal had always been a dream come true. Christ, Kindly help me with that. He was seeing a ray of hope in distant horizons.
Author- Sreeja Vijayan